I came, I saw, I snuggled!!!!!!

Yes, Saturday I drove home and after months apart, I was reunited with my One Bestest Pal in the entire world, the sweet little snuggley baby man Reginald James Poggles!



It was AWESOME!

I probably gave him about ten billion sweet kisses, and petting him and cried tears of joy while telling him how much I missed him. Reggie purred and snuggled and licked my face (which sounds sweet, but in actuality is kinda gross.)

For docorum's sake, I chose not to include any pictures of our tearful and joyous reunion, but for those of you worried that Reggie has not been thriving within the jungle backyard of Che Layman Vida Yuba, here is photographic proof.





The good news is, he's very happy, and I guess what he needed all along was unlimited access to outside. My mom says he pretty much stay outside all night, and then sleeps all day in a closet on top of some of my stuff.




It was easier seeing him this time than it was, certainly, when I saw him last and had to let him go. He's happy now.

I WISH I COULD SAY THE SAME!!

Just two days left to the greatest joy I have ever known!!!

It's now at a point I can count the hours. Damn, they are going by slow!

Why isn't it Saturday yet?

Four days is too damn long to wait! I've gone from counting the days to counting the minutes!!

The greatest day of my life draws even closer:

As far as I'm concerned, this day can't come fast enough.

Countdown to the greatest day of my life:

I can't wait!!! Can you?

Tek Jansen nominated for a Harvey

For "Best Single Issue or Story," 2007.

A John Layman comic nominated for an award? What kind of crazy world is this?!?!?

WTF?!?! Batty LOVES corn!!!

Batty's new favorite food is corn. I know, I know... bizarre.

She ate the entire thing and then jumped up on the dinner table and begged for more.

Reggie is gone: Life no longer worth living

Do I seem to be posting less frequently recently?

I'd dropped off of blogging anyway, but the BIG drop-off not coincidentally corresponded with a sad and terrible decision I had to made to get rid of Reggie. He's ongoing peeing-in-the-apartment problems were only getting worse, and then he started getting bladder blockages (at $650 a pop!) The vet said it was do to stress, that he simply hated living in a tiny apartment with three bitchy sisters and a little kid, and the best thing for Reggie would be to find him a new home that could allow him to be an outdoor cat. Literally Dr.'s orders to get rid of him.

And so Reggie left Che Layman to live with my mom.



On the way back from dropping him off, I noticed the sky no longer was blue, even though it was a sunny day. It was this grey color.

Shortly after, food started losses its taste, everything just started tasting kinda ashes. And then everything sorta seemed gray. I cried a lot. I'd call into work sick, and stay home weeping into a pillow. When I did go to work I would stare at a blank computer screen. Pretty soon I stopped getting up in the morning altogether, and I just spent the entire day, all day, every day, asking myself how was I expected to go on without Reggie.

Moreover, how am I supposed to blog without Reggie?

It's a question I still ask myself.

And, friends, there are no easy answers.

Song and Dance Man

In praise of Spongebob

Man, the funny thing about having a kid, you realize how much cartoons are like crack for babies. Most of the time, it will settle them down, shut them up, and mezmorize them. At least in Carter's case. So of course, without letting him watch too much, I have to admit, Cartoon Network has become our friend. "Blues Clues" is Carter's absolute favorite, and he'll sit in front of it, slack-jawed, for the entire show. But it's a bit insipid.

I also find "Backyardagins" tolerable. Surprisingly, almost every episode they have a song that I think is pretty catchy (there is nothing worse than finding yourself humming a song for 3 year olds as the day progresses, but with Backyardigans sometimes I do.)

"Fairly Oddparents" is the one cartoon that just sets my nerves on each, as shrill and stupid and ugly and unfunny.


And, SpongeBob SquarePants has become a favorite. I know it's d pretty commercialized, but, goddamn, it has some funny stuff, almost every episode. Carter just likes it because it a cartoon, but I find myself watching it without him, just for laughs, and I have no doubt this is exactly the sort of show that college stoners zone out to every afternoon or morning-- I would have, anyway.

So, uh... point of this blog? SpongeBob Squarepants is way damn funnier than I ever thought it could be. I'm a fan.



So, here's a new addition to The Layman Lego Project. When I saw this in the stores, I had to snap it up. It's a great looking set, but I'm a little baffled about the mini-figure choices. Hitler seems like a bad choice to include in a children's cartoon Lego set. I don't even think he was in that particular episode.

A short week for...

The Layman Lego Project!!


Reggie got sick and I had to take him to the kitty emergency room, so I did not build a lot of Legos this weekend.




He's doing much better now, thanks for asking, but it cost $650 to unblock his blocked bladder.

RIP Roy Scheider, Steve Gerber

Man, Jaws scared the crap out of me as a kid. I was 9 years old, and my dad had to take me out of the theater, I was so goddamn terrified.


Comic writer Steve Gerber died too. He was best known for creating Howard the Duck, but my favorite thing he did was a comic called Sludge.

Test your knowledge of the animal kingdom...

...with this exciting multiple choice question:

Which is the most fearsome of all beasts in the animal kingdom?

A) The proud lion.


B) The graceful whale


C) The deadly shark


D) Reggie!!!



Now, an important follow-up question: Who killed a bird on the balcony the night before last??!?

Layman Richards? Layman Walnuts? WTF?!?!?

I have a staggering amount of grey hair coming in on the sides, like, all of the sudden. Every day I look in the mirror and I have another few grey hairs, even a little patch the other day, coming in on the sides, and at the rate I'm going I'm going to have wingtips by the end of the year.

God damn! I am old!

An early valentine's present for YOU!!!

Because I care--A MASSIVE update of The Layman Lego Project!!














Obviously, I'm starting to tackle the vast collection of Star Wars legos, which, in San Diego and Seattle, were built and displayed on several bookcases as a giant Star Wars Lego diorama.

This don't even scratch the surface, chums.

Aw, what the hell... Vikings

Not much going on, so here's a couple Lego Viking sets, all part of the ever-thrilling Layman Lego Project

Wherefore art Layman? Beset by computer woes and calamity!

Well, shit, here's another New Year's resolution down the tubes. You know, I meant to blog every day, but with a kid and a job, and trying to play Warcraft and write on the side, this damn blog is just falling through the cracks, and I apologize.

Plus, I had some big computer problems that sidelined me recently. I was all ready to post a bunch of cool pictures on the web, but first I updated to Apple Leopard --not knowing the new MAC OS is ABSOLUTELY incompatible with Photoshop 7. I don't have a spare $700 around for the new Photoshop, and didn't have the connections to steal it, so I reinstalled Panther onto my Mac.... BIG MISTAKE... I ended up losing a ton of stuff, and I had all sorts of headaches. In the end, I got most of it back, except for the music. I have it all on disc, but it's gonna be a pain in the ass to move it all over.

Anyway, that's why I have not blogged recently. As a reward to you, all my breathless fans who check back here every day. Here is a picture of Bumble Buzz. Sometimes I'm so busy adoring Reggie I forget that Bumble Buzz is an big ol' fuzzy sweetie too!





P.S.: I ended up going the legal route, buying Photoshop Elements and installing it on all my computers. It's like Photoshop for dummies, but it pretty much has the same features, at least for my purposes.

My 2007 Xmas present constructed --and MORE!

A rare mis-step for Lego. I broke my own self imposed rule, that I only buy Star Wars Legos that are A) from the classic original trilogy and B) canon. That is, no made-up bullshit. But the idea of a TIE fighter that doubled as a tank was freaking irresistible to me.

Sadly, this set broke Lego's #1 rule, that building it should be fun. There were simply too damn many of the same parts, and by the end of the first wing/tread thingie, I was bored and dreading building the second. Lego should have used the one-piece plastic tread the use for their digger, and other construction equipment, and it would have made the set a little less cool, but way less tedious to build, and it also would have kept the price point way below the ridiculous asking price of $50. At this price, the only people buying it are Star Wars Lego completists, suckers, and people like me who can't resist the idea of a TIE fighter tank hybrid.

I was a little annoyed at Lego, but today I got the new catalog in the mail, and there are no less than four new sets that I HAVE to have.

So all is forgiven, Lego. Meesa wuv you again!




Also, as long as we are here, check out some new additions to The Layman Lego Project:

2007: The Year in Review

At the stroke of midnight, 2008, we were consoling Carter, who has a molar coming in, and a cold, and is sick and miserable, when he throws up all over himself and Kim. I sorta wish he would have thrown up on me, too, 'cause that would have pretty much summed up 2007 for me.

2007 was a terrible year.

Know this, when I'm not blogging, it's not because I am too busy, or having too good a time to find the time to blog. I don't blog because I am depressed, and I spent a lot of 2007 being miserably depressed. Sure, I was busy, with a new kid and lack of sleep, and all that goes with it, plus a move and a new job, but, mostly, I was just depressed.

If you emailed me and I did not get back to you, or lagged severely and then wrote something short, that was probably why.

2007 sucked.

2007 saw the release of my biggest selling, most commercial comic, which just so happened to be mired in so much behind-the-scenes bullshit with one of the publishers it completely poisoned the project for me. At the same time, the rest of my comics "career" came to a inexplicable, crashing halt, and the work just simply dried up, and never returned. At the end of 2006 I was juggling five different comics, and I'd been hustling for 5 years to reach that point. When it all just stopped cold, it was absolutely devastating to me. As result, I took a job in the video game industry (funny how the much more lucrative video game industry has been far kinder to me in 3 years than comics ever was in nearly 15.) I moved from my own house, to a tiny apartment, away from a city I loved to a place that is little more than a vast expanse of freeways and stripmalls. I left behind a tight circle of friends, and there's not a day that goes by that I don't miss Seattle, my house and my friends. I got to live closer to my parents, and get a closer look as my Alzheimer's afflicted Dad went from daffy old man, to walking zombie who could not recognize either me or my mother. He had multiple strokes the week before x-mas, and is now in bed, waiting to die, not able to walk, not able to talk, not even able to chew. I went and saw him a couple of days ago, which will surely be the last time I see him alive, and he looked more terrible and wretched then I could ever imagine.

It wasn't completely bad. Carter has turned out to be a pretty fun little kid, and my home life is fine. The cats are in good health, and I finally bought my dream car, a Toyota Matrix. I'm going to start blogging a lot more in 2008. And even though I'm effectively right back where I started as a comic book writer when I went freelance 6 years ago -square one- I'm just going to do my own god damn thing, and get my own book up and running again.

Anyway, come back here often. This blog is back, mother fucker!

The year is 2008, AND THIS IS THE WRATH OF LAYMAN!!!!