Layman Movie Review: ROBOTS

Beautiful dogshit. That's the short review.

The longer review: A really nice looking computer animated movie that was dopey as all hell. Clearly, computer animation has advanced to the point where any idiot can do it. And, in this case, they have.

I don't understand why nobody but Pixar understands how to make a decent feature-length cartoon, but the freakin' dopes who did Robots (and A Shark's Tale, for that matter,) don't have a clue.

After seeing Shark's Tale, I sorta knew what to expect, a bunch of dumb puns abouts robots and machines instead of fish and seafood. And where Shark's Tale tried to be edgy and urban (clearly most of the fish in lead roles except for the sharks were supposed to be "black fish,") Robots is just dumb and directionless. I mean, who on Earth still thinks Robin William's riff-on-everything-a-mile-a-minute is funny? It hasn't been funny for 15 years, and to be honest, it wasn't really funny even back then.

Another thing that really made me sick was the "message" of this movie, which was twofold. The first one is: if you just have a kid, you will be happy, and it's the greatest goal people can aspire to is to procreate. Frickin' yawn! The other is the old corporate cliche, about how if you work really hard and are passionate, you'll eventually triumph against the soulless Capitalism moneygrubbers that don't give a damn about the workers. Bullshit. Chances are, if you have a job at a large company, you will eventually be crushed. A great majority of everyone my age or younger is going to lose their pension (if indeed they have one in the first place) and get old eating ramen and dog food, while rich assholes become richer assholes. Isn't that, after all, why Republicans keep getting elected? Because most people aspire to be a rich asshole? All of this sends a terrible message to kids. Namely, there is hope for you and your future. Wake up, you little brats... you are fucked, just like everybody else in this foul country. (I told you... the hate is back.)

Anyway, this movie was insulting and obvious and dumb, though it definitely had some pretty visuals. I watched it on double speed, like I watch all lousy movies, and I even had to forward it to 4x. See it at your own risk: It will poison your mind.