Monday, October 02, 2006

READER DISCRETION STRONGLY ADVISED: Perverted Congressman Foley's IM Exchange With John Layman

Oct 1, 2006 — - The following is an instant message exchange John Layman had with Rep. Foley. Warning: sexually explicit language, reader discretion is advised.

Maf54 (7:25:14 PM): hey

Auto response from Layman(7:25:14 PM): scrounging for food...brb

Maf54 (7:25:25 PM): ok

Maf54 (7:25:35 PM): kep scrounging

Layman(7:31:51 PM): boo

Maf54 (7:32:13 PM): bo dude

Layman(7:32:17 PM): lol

Layman(7:32:26 PM): whered ya go this afternoon

Maf54 (7:33:39 PM): i am in pensecola...had to catch a plane

Layman(7:33:47 PM): Florida is for assholes

Maf54 (7:37:27 PM): how my favorite young stud doing

Layman(7:37:46 PM): tired and sore

Layman(7:37:52 PM): i just finished Scarface #3, and the other comic book I’m co-writing that has not been announced.

Maf54 (7:38:04 PM): what is it I must know!!! LOL

Layman(7:38:34 PM): I can’t say, but there is actually two three more comics I am doing, in addition to Scarface and Xena, which has not been announced. I actullay have 14 comics I need to write, to finish off all my comimettents. 5 minis in all, plus a dodge commericial and two upcoming video games.

Maf54 (7:39:32 PM): tahts good when wil new stuff be solicited for

Layman(7:41:57 PM): fuck if I know. Jan or feb, probaly

Maf54 (7:39:32 PM): you need a massage

Layman(7:41:57 PM): tomorrow i have to start a new script

Maf54 (7:42:27 PM): love to read that

Maf54 (7:43:54 PM): youll be way hot then

Layman(7:44:01 PM): haha...hopefully

Maf54 (7:44:22 PM): did you “pet the kitty” this weekend?

Layman(7:46:38 PM): lol yes

Layman(7:46:40 PM): We also had to clip Bumb;e Buzz’s claws, they were getting pretty long.

Maf54 (7:47:11 PM): I love your blog.

Maf54 (7:47:11 PM): It gets me horny

Layman(7:47:29 PM): uh

Maf54 (7:48:00 PM): wouold you give me David Baron’s mypace addie. I luv that dude.

Layman(7:48:04 PM): no

Layman(7:48:16 PM): too tired and too busy

Maf54 (7:48:33 PM): wow...

Maf54 (7:48:34 PM): i am never to busy haha

Layman(7:48:51 PM): haha

Maf54 (7:55:21 PM): very nice

Maf54 (7:58:37 PM): well I have aa totally stiff wood now, thinking about your awesome comics

Layman(7:58:40 PM): you are a total shitbag, and your scumbag republican friends will cover for you.

Maf54 (7:58:44 PM): i bet..taht wouldn’t hurt

Maf54 (7:59:48 PM): is your little guy limp...or growing

Layman(7:59:54 PM): Reggie?

Maf54 (8:00:00 PM): yeah

Layman(8:00:19 PM): he eats a lot of cat food. He’s a rolly poly little guy but he is pretty much full grown

Layman(8:00:20 PM): He likes to caper about obstreperously

Layman(8:00:32 PM): Some times he pees on the carpet though.

Maf54 (8:00:32 PM): that gets me really hot

Maf54 (8:01:21 PM): i am hard as a rock..

Maf54 (8:03:47 PM): what you wearing

Layman(8:04:04 PM): normal clothes

Layman(8:04:09 PM): tshirt and shorts

Maf54 (8:04:17 PM): um so a big buldge

Layman(8:04:35 PM): well, duh. I’m John Layman, mother fucker

Maf54 (8:04:45 PM): um

Maf54 (8:06:13 PM): I thought Xena #2 was damn good. Looking forward to issue #3

Layman(8:06:53 PM): that’s not onsale for a couple of weeks...dont get to excited

Maf54 (8:08:47 PM): tell me again

Layman(8:08:49 PM): Issue #3 is onsale in a couple of weeks. Scarface debuts in Dec. Dave Crosland is kicking all kinds of ass, and we have this great colorist named Len O’Grady

Maf54 (8:09:04 PM): ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Maf54 (8:09:08 PM): beautiful

Layman(8:09:38 PM): lol

Maf54 (8:09:44 PM): thats a great comic. I bought all of the variant covers

Layman(8:10:00 PM): thank you

Layman(8:10:54 PM): brb...Refus is mewowing

Maf54 (8:11:06 PM): ok

Layman(8:14:02 PM): back

Layman(8:16:53 PM): well i better go finish my writing...I want to run a dungeon on World of warcraft tonight. Ruggles is has almost got all his tier O mage gear. Just waiting for the Magister Boots and Chest piece to drop

Maf54 (8:09:44 PM): thats makes me so hot

Maf54 (8:09:44 PM): I wish you would blog more about Ruggles. And what TV you are watching. And any CONTESTS you might be entering.

Layman(8:14:02 PM): stay tuned, beeyotch

Maf54 signed off at 8:17:43 PM.


Dave Crosland said...

Dude, this is frightening. ALMOST as frightening as the real news story that's been unfolding from the filthy asscrack of our beloved Republican Party. With every passing moment, those fucks drop more and more proof that they are evil incarnate.

Ann Thrope said...

In the words of one Congressional page, "SICK SICK SICK!"

Beta Ray Steve said...

"Eats a lot of cat food" This is the sickest euphemism for you-know-what I have ever heard.

.just.a.ghost. said...

AaaaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAaaahahahahaaa. ha. ha. ehhhh. eh. eh.

OMFG, that is the best ever. EVER!

N. J. Pozner said...

Layman, you hilarious bastard. I've read this thing three times today, and I'm still cracking up. If we can't derive comedy from hypocritical closeted Republicans sexually harassing civic-minded teenage boys, what can laugh at?

Maf54 said...

I know I said some creepy things, but I never, never once tried to use you to sell comics. And I never would have.

You violated me.

jnadiger said...

Of course, it's not nearly as shocking anymore, because Fox New says Foley is a DEMOCRAT.

Anonymous said...

But seriously, can I put it in you?