Oct 1, 2006 — - The following is an instant message exchange John Layman had with Rep. Foley. Warning: sexually explicit language, reader discretion is advised.
Maf54 (7:25:14 PM): hey
Auto response from Layman(7:25:14 PM): scrounging for food...brb
Maf54 (7:25:25 PM): ok
Maf54 (7:25:35 PM): kep scrounging
Layman(7:31:51 PM): boo
Maf54 (7:32:13 PM): bo dude
Layman(7:32:17 PM): lol
Layman(7:32:26 PM): whered ya go this afternoon
Maf54 (7:33:39 PM): i am in pensecola...had to catch a plane
Layman(7:33:47 PM): Florida is for assholes
Maf54 (7:37:27 PM): how my favorite young stud doing
Layman(7:37:46 PM): tired and sore
Layman(7:37:52 PM): i just finished Scarface #3, and the other comic book I’m co-writing that has not been announced.
Maf54 (7:38:04 PM): what is it I must know!!! LOL
Layman(7:38:34 PM): I can’t say, but there is actually two three more comics I am doing, in addition to Scarface and Xena, which has not been announced. I actullay have 14 comics I need to write, to finish off all my comimettents. 5 minis in all, plus a dodge commericial and two upcoming video games.
Maf54 (7:39:32 PM): tahts good when wil new stuff be solicited for
Layman(7:41:57 PM): fuck if I know. Jan or feb, probaly
Maf54 (7:39:32 PM): you need a massage
Layman(7:41:57 PM): tomorrow i have to start a new script
Maf54 (7:42:27 PM): love to read that
Maf54 (7:43:54 PM): youll be way hot then
Layman(7:44:01 PM): haha...hopefully
Maf54 (7:44:22 PM): did you “pet the kitty” this weekend?
Layman(7:46:38 PM): lol yes
Layman(7:46:40 PM): We also had to clip Bumb;e Buzz’s claws, they were getting pretty long.
Maf54 (7:47:11 PM): I love your blog.
Maf54 (7:47:11 PM): It gets me horny
Layman(7:47:29 PM): uh
Maf54 (7:48:00 PM): wouold you give me David Baron’s mypace addie. I luv that dude.
Layman(7:48:04 PM): no
Layman(7:48:16 PM): too tired and too busy
Maf54 (7:48:33 PM): wow...
Maf54 (7:48:34 PM): i am never to busy haha
Layman(7:48:51 PM): haha
Maf54 (7:55:21 PM): very nice
Maf54 (7:58:37 PM): well I have aa totally stiff wood now, thinking about your awesome comics
Layman(7:58:40 PM): you are a total shitbag, and your scumbag republican friends will cover for you.
Maf54 (7:58:44 PM): i bet..taht wouldn’t hurt
Maf54 (7:59:48 PM): is your little guy limp...or growing
Layman(7:59:54 PM): Reggie?
Maf54 (8:00:00 PM): yeah
Layman(8:00:19 PM): he eats a lot of cat food. He’s a rolly poly little guy but he is pretty much full grown
Layman(8:00:20 PM): He likes to caper about obstreperously
Layman(8:00:32 PM): Some times he pees on the carpet though.
Maf54 (8:00:32 PM): that gets me really hot
Maf54 (8:01:21 PM): i am hard as a rock..
Maf54 (8:03:47 PM): what you wearing
Layman(8:04:04 PM): normal clothes
Layman(8:04:09 PM): tshirt and shorts
Maf54 (8:04:17 PM): um so a big buldge
Layman(8:04:35 PM): well, duh. I’m John Layman, mother fucker
Maf54 (8:04:45 PM): um
Maf54 (8:06:13 PM): I thought Xena #2 was damn good. Looking forward to issue #3
Layman(8:06:53 PM): that’s not onsale for a couple of weeks...dont get to excited
Maf54 (8:08:47 PM): tell me again
Layman(8:08:49 PM): Issue #3 is onsale in a couple of weeks. Scarface debuts in Dec. Dave Crosland is kicking all kinds of ass, and we have this great colorist named Len O’Grady
Maf54 (8:09:04 PM): ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Maf54 (8:09:08 PM): beautiful
Layman(8:09:38 PM): lol
Maf54 (8:09:44 PM): thats a great comic. I bought all of the variant covers
Layman(8:10:00 PM): thank you
Layman(8:10:54 PM): brb...Refus is mewowing
Maf54 (8:11:06 PM): ok
Layman(8:14:02 PM): back
Layman(8:16:53 PM): well i better go finish my writing...I want to run a dungeon on World of warcraft tonight. Ruggles is has almost got all his tier O mage gear. Just waiting for the Magister Boots and Chest piece to drop
Maf54 (8:09:44 PM): thats makes me so hot
Maf54 (8:09:44 PM): I wish you would blog more about Ruggles. And what TV you are watching. And any CONTESTS you might be entering.
Layman(8:14:02 PM): stay tuned, beeyotch
Maf54 signed off at 8:17:43 PM.
6 comments:
"Eats a lot of cat food" This is the sickest euphemism for you-know-what I have ever heard.
AaaaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAaaahahahahaaa. ha. ha. ehhhh. eh. eh.
OMFG, that is the best ever. EVER!
Layman, you hilarious bastard. I've read this thing three times today, and I'm still cracking up. If we can't derive comedy from hypocritical closeted Republicans sexually harassing civic-minded teenage boys, what can laugh at?
I know I said some creepy things, but I never, never once tried to use you to sell comics. And I never would have.
You violated me.
Of course, it's not nearly as shocking anymore, because Fox New says Foley is a DEMOCRAT.
But seriously, can I put it in you?
Post a Comment