Saturday, September 29, 2007

A blog breakthrough: Meet the new staff!!!

It's become sadly apparent that with a relatively new kid, and a relatively new job, my blogging, and this blog, and YOU, dear reader, have suffered a result. But, recognizing my responsibility to you, I've decided to step things up, by adding a STAFF of dedicated bloggers to provide you with the content you so desperately crave.

So, without further ado, let's welcome the good folks who will be helping out with blog, and briefly discuss their responsibilities.

A dear, dear friend of this blog, who has stepped up in the past and blogged to heroic effort, Neal has been named Style Editor. He'll be writing about the latest in hip fashion trends, from Tokyo, New York, Milan to Paris. Please send all clothing, accessories, style tips and story ideas to Neal at his soon-to-be-refurbished blog, The Style Wind. And look for his searing and very personal essay, "How I stopped fearing fashion and learned to love vests; A fleece Odyssey!," coming soon!

One of my most beloved compatriots, Eric has been charged with writing about DC Comics, as well as other alternative lifestyle choices. His multipart epic, "Sinistro Corp Issue One, Second Printing, and the Fine Art of Autoerotic Asphixiation," will be serialized in this blog, with all twenty-three of its chapters compete and unabridged.

James Nadiger is the Canadian John Layman, and one of meanest, most magnificnt bastards in the entire world. He runs this blog's Canadian sister sight, I blame the Internet, and infuses it with pure perfection on an almost-regular basis. He's been named International Correspondent, since he lives in another country. He'll also be writing about Teen Trends, something he knows only all too well.

This British writer has written several short stories exclusively for this blog, which will debut when our busy schedule permits. Look for "Jimmy Bucket and the Platoon on the Moon," Chapter One, sometime in the coming months.

My loathing for Brian Perez has been duly noted. And he may be an asshole, but he sure knows his stuff. He'll be tackling the sensitive subjects nobody else dares to touch, with his own brand of seering, introspective gonzo journalism. Future exposes include "I really like Dick Cheney," "Larry Craig was in my bathroom, now he's in my heart," and "Self-Help cures for the hopeless STD sufferer."


We have one last opening, and since it is SO big, it can't be trusted to just ANYBODY. That's why I am putting out an open call for contributors on the "Reggie beat," with blog postings devoted solely to this blog's favorite, favorite, favorite cat. Bloggers are expected to contribute 3-4 times a week, with posts in length of 1500-2000 words on the virtues and endless appeal of Reggie. Potential blog postings may include "Reggie looks just like a Panda, but is even cuter!," "Reggie is colored like a penguin but is much cuter and sweeter than the filthy animals in the 'March of' movie," "Reggie is an ANGEL!!!" and, finally, "Reggie should be a member of the White Stripes 'cause he has a huge fuzzy white stripe on his tummy."

If you would like to apply for this position, please contribute three sample articles in a Word document, double-spaced, using Ariel Font size 13.

serious inquiries only

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