Halloween '05

Pecos Layman,and his faithful steed Skeeker, on the ol' Chism Trail from Amarillo.


"Yellar belly like YOU might ought to get a belly full of lead," growled Pecos.


Pecos Layman and the lil' hombre that rustled up his heart!


The year's second place winner

There came a crooked man.

Adios, scum fuck!

May you be the first of many to burn.

Presenting REGGIEWEAR!!!!!

The hip new clothes line for today's man's man!



It would make a good Fitzmas present, don't you think?

John Layman: Indiputed King of the J-Teens

So, check this out. When we were in Japan, there were arcades everywhere, with games and claws-that-pick-up-stuffed-animal thingies. In the back of most of the arcades were these photo booths, and neither myself nor the girl I am currently seeing could figure out exactly what they were for. The photo booth areas were swarming with high-school age Japanese girls (Eric DeSantis' idea of Heaven) and we tried to wander around and figure it out, when my traveling companion noticed a sign that said in Engrish "No Male Persons Allowed."

Anyway, a couple of days later, at a different arcade, we checked it out, in an arcade where apparently males were allowed. It took us a while to figure out, but these photo booths had two parts, one where you take the picture, with various backgrounds, and then were you go and decorate the picture with various crazy shit, then the machine spits out a 4x6 photo with the pictures you just took and decorated.. I had to admit, it was pretty fun, and kinda addictive, 'cause when we got drunk later that night, we went back and did some more.

These things are all the rage with Japanese teenagers, so I thought I'd set the trend here in the Bad Ol' USA. Here's one of those crazy picture thingies:

The Layman Lego Project: The Wild West

The Layman Lego Project has been updated.

Coming this January: Sentinel Squad O*N*E.... number #1!!

giant robots fuckin' shit up. go Layman!!





With great interior art by Aaron Lopresti.

On Sale Two Days Ago: Armageddon & Son

My first graphic novel, courtesy of Oni, with art by Dave Dumeer.



The Fourth Rail calls it "quite entertaining."

X-Fan says "this book doesn’t really work as a parody, but is successful as a black comedy with a heart. If you like a little bit of sweetness, but only when buried under a tonne of sour, then this book is for you."

And (I love this,) Comics Worth Reading says "I appreciate Layman's sense of humor better when it's described to me." I haven't the slightest idea what that means, but I figure it's not a compliment.



BTW, Sorry for the lack of blogging lately. I desperately needed to finish a video game synopsis I was working on. Fucker ran 57 pages! And now I am, like, totally behind on my comic scripting. SHIT!

still not cooperating

The little punk.

Stupid REGGIE is destroying the brilliance of this blog

So, after traveling halfway around the world and entertaining my thousands and thousand of fans with exotic pictures and a scintillating travelogue, I figured the only way to top last week's blogging was to take pictures of little Reggie in his brand new Japanese-bought collar-that-looks-like-a-bow-time-and-tuxedo. Unfortunately, Reggie, who does not like even wearing a collar, goes nuts whenever I try to put it on him, and he's making it impossible to take a picture to show ya'll just what a little cutie he is.

This, sadly, is the best I could do:

Thursday in Katakura

The biggest outdoor Budda in the world.


"Christ, that's a big Budda."


Layman with unidentified female traveling companion.

Wednesday in Kyoto

I saw 1001 statues of the goddess Kannon... while my deer bites oozed and festered.


My good pal Jason "Skyrocket" Talley, expert in all things related to Japan, sent me a list of cool places to go in Tokyo in Kyoto. He suggested we visit a temple in Kyoto, the longest wooden building in the world, that has 1001 human-sized statues of the multi-limbed goddess Kannon. It was almost inconceivable how long this hallway went, and how it was just filled with statue after statue until your eyes glazed and your mind went numb. It was surely one of the strangest, most spectacular, surreal, incredible, even transcendent things I have ever seen.





Unfortunately, they did not allow pictures, so here's a photo of a Japanese billboard with a dog peeing. I know there's at least two of you regular blog readers that are really gonna enjoy this.

Tuesday in Kyoto

I saw the biggest Budda in the world... and I got BIT by a two frickin' deer!!!


Based on John Nee, the biggest bronze Budda in the world was built in 752 a.d. We took a train from Kyoto to Nara to see it, and some other stuff. Like John Nee, seeing the Budda fills you with a sense of serenity, benevolence and infinite love.




On the grounds of the temple are hundreds of tame deer. You can buy these little wafer things to feed them. Animal lover Layman tried to feed a some, but he got mobbed, and when he ran out of crackers the bastards bit him--TWICE!!!

Monday in Tokyo: Layman takes a bullet...

...bullet train that is. All the way to Kyoto.

Sunday in Tokyo

Breakfast. Put your money in the vending machine and then hand it to the cook.


Abe Pagota.


Giant cooper lanterns.


Nightlife in Shinjuku.


Deadly martial arts superstar Ikeekayurassa.

Saturday in Tokyo

Tokyo Tower. Bigger than the Eiffel Tower. We went to the top.


Temple building in 1651. "Christened" in 2005.


Monument to all the little Japanese boys Eric DeSantis has touched inappropriately.


A crazy-ass building.


A crazy-ass spider sculpture.

Layman has landed!!!

Actually, we got here last night and already had a good night's sleep, but the hotel wi-fi was down.

Beer in vending machines!! We're off to a good start.

LAYMAN IN JAPAN!!!

I'm off to Japan for the next week, so I'm not sure how much blogging I will get done.

I've very excited. My entire life it has been my dream to see the Great Wall. Do you know it is the only man-made edifice that can be viewed from Space?***









***Other than an occasional light reflection from Tom B. Long's bald head!

LAYMAN IS BACK!!!

...And he comes bearing the gift of love...

...and cuteness!!!!

NEAL'S DRUNKEN MONDAY NIGHT CONFESSIONAL: I have a throbbing man-crush on Dr. Bashir.

You know, maybe it's those three blackberry wine coolers I just drank, but I have the most intense man-crush on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine's Dr. Bashir. Keep in mind I am straight. Very straight. More straight than Axel Rose, Rock Hudson and Jack Nicholson*** all rolled into one. Nonetheless, there is something about repeats of Star Trek Deep Space Nine that has me utterly captivated, and I think it's those dreamy eyes of Dr. Bashir, and his witty banter with Chief Engineer Miles O'Brien.



I know Layman thinks differently. While I still mainst DS9 is the all-time greatest sci-fi series in the history of the Universe, Layman's new great love is Battlestar Galaga, on the Sci-Fi channel. The cliffhanger ending to half-season 2 was, like, three weeks ago, and Ol' Layman still can't get enough of how they took a pretty goofy video game from 20 or more years ago and made it into one of the most intelligence and nuanced sci-fi shows to hit the TV scene since, well, maybe since EVER.

Battlestar Galaga Season One, along with it's four-hour pilot mini-series, is recently available on DVD, and Layman is looking forward to catching some of the Season One episodes he missed before he discovered how 100% freaking kick-ass this show is.

I --Neal J. Pozner-- tried watching Battlestar Galaga a while ago, but it proved too much for my delicate constitution. I decided I should still to DS9 reruns, and --on those occations when I want to throw caution to the wind-- an occational Golden Girls repeat.

Thank you again for your time and kind patronage. Hopefully, Layman will make a triumphant return to blogging very soon. Everybody tells me I am wearing out my welcome.

With polite regards,
Neal J. Pozner.



***but not Jack Nicklaus.

Shine on

Funny.

A PNN Exclusive (Pozner News Network): Update on Layman's condition

Some good news, bad news, friends and neighbors.

I just spoke to the doctor's a the treatment center Mr. Layman is being held. They've upgraded his condition to "Schiavo."

Unfortunately, the status of his liver has been downgraded to "Kennedy."