Friday, May 11, 2007

Layman political endorsement: VINNIE VAN LOWE FOR SHERIFF!


It's my sad duty to revoke my endorsement of Keith Mars for Sheriff of Neptune County, after he pushed his daughter forcibly and irrevocably over the shark in the last episode of Veronica Mars. The episode spent a full twenty stomach-churning, wretch-inducing minutes as Keith Mars went on a horrifying tangent about The Beatles being the greatest band in history to Paul Frickin' Rudd.

Look. I hate the Beatles. I hate anybody who likes the Beatles. I hate anybody who owns their albums, and I hate anybody who has even listened to a single one of their songs. The truth is, and I've said it before, and I'll say it again, is the Beatles are just a nauseating conspiracy on behalf of the Baby Boomers, history's most narcissistic, self-obsessed and worthless generation. Just because those idiots got high or got laid while the Beatles were in their commercial peak, the rest of civilization expected to worship their mediocre pop swill like it's the musical equivalent of the second coming of God? I renounce that. I renounce the Baby Boomers. I renounce the Beatles, and I sure as shit renounce listening to Keith Mars go on for 20 minutes of MY PRECIOUS TIME with some lamebrain pronouncements of the greatness of the Beat-holes.

There is nothing more pathetic than some over-the-hill, past-their-prime, obsolete and irrelevant wash-up trying to relive the pathetic memories of their long distant youth, then foisting it off on others as if it could possible mean something to them.




Also; As unrelated and thoroughly unironic blog posting addition, here is a photo of recent runner-up of the Ashley&MaryKate™ Full House Circa Season One lookalike contest, wearing a T-Shirt proclaiming alligiance to the actual greatest rock and roll band in the history of humankind: Alice Donut.

Rock on, little dude!

2 comments:

N. J. Pozner said...

Layman, I'm sure it would delight you to know that I am now tormented by the question of whether I genuinely like the Beatles, or have merely been conditioned to like the Beatles.

Mo S said...

Is that actually Baby Layman?


But, but... he's so incredibly cute!