Tuesday, March 29, 2005

The Triumphant Return: Layman back with a Vengeance

Sorry about the delay, O My Children. I was pretty burned from finishing that Activision video game, and had to write Gambit #12 and Fantastic Four: House of M #1, and take a writing test to write another video game for an unbelievably huge video game company. Anyway, you sad-ass punk bitches have had to pay the price, and I figure it's high time to talley up the votes and give ya'll the blog you've been dreaming about. So I've added up, all the hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of votes, and here's what you get:

BECAUSE YOU DEMANDED IT:

A LAYMAN MOVIE REVIEW:

BRIDGETTE SNAPS 2



Okay, full disclosure: this movie is actually called Ginger Snaps 2, not Bridgette Snaps 2, but I call it Bridgette Snaps because in the movie, uh... duh... Bridgette snaps. This is the sequel (obviously) to Ginger Snaps, but Ginger is killed at the ended of the movie (BELATED SPOILER WARNING!!!) so this is all about her twitchy-ass sister Bridgette, and Ginger just shows up for a bit in flashback, in an apparent attempt to justify the movie title.

Ginger Snaps, and Ginger Snaps (Bridgette Snaps!) 2 and, I'm guessing, Ginger Snaps 3 (on my Netflix cue) are about teenager girls who become werewolves and kick white-boy ass. Ginger Snaps 1 was pretty good, I thought Ginger Snaps (Bridgette Snaps!) 2 was better. The sequel has this creepy little girl who is just awesome as a supporting character, a little brace-face who is creepy and funny and dorky at the same time. These are Canadian horror movies, which is probably an oxymoron. Everybody is super polite and pale and pasty. Even the werewolves say "Please" and "If I may" before eating anybody. They curtsey delicately and before they eat anybody they place the corpses on lace doileys and dinner place settings.

Funny story about these movies: I heard about them at the last day of San Digeo Con last year. I was up all night popping crazy pills and nearly killed myself with drugs and alcohol –rock star style– on the last day of the convention. I was hung over as I could possibly be, and not feeling particularly social. I hate people ANYWAY, but I was on the plane and some old guy, with his grandchild sitting between us, struck up and conversation. And he was actually cool. I had a great conversation with this guy, batting back movie recommendations and discussions about books and stuff like that. He was damn cool, though, in retrospect, maybe he was a bit odd for digging all these movies (his little grandchild, surprisingly well adjusted for a little kid, and I generally hate kids, had also seen all these Rated R horror movies, and he was, like, 7 or 8.) Anyway, this old dude recommended Ginger Snaps and I put it on my Netflix cue, and eventually got around to seeing the movies. I liked 'em. I mean, they aren't great, but better than most of the crap playing at the Cineplex at the moment.

The old dude and I exchanged phone numbers, and he sent me an email later, a polite follow up. I ended up blowing it off, like I do a dangerous percentage of my emails. I'm really bad that way (so if I've ignored your emails, don't take offense.) I kinda wish I would have kept up with that old man... he was pretty cool.

Rock on, you old fucker!

1 comment:

Edco said...

Uh... what exactly constitutes the "review" portion of this Layman Movie Review? Maybe the post should have been titled:

Layman gives a glossed mention of a movie he saw at some vagueley recent point, then digresses into an uninteresting tale of a conversation with a creepy old man.