Monday, June 06, 2005

Layman movie review: HOTEL RWANDA

First off, I didn't find this movie to be even remotely funny.

As you may or may not know, this is the story of a troubled hotel manager in some crazy country that's in the middle of a genocide. But seeing all those people getting killed was kind of a downer, and I think if the filmmakers would have taken a little more time and made just a few script adjustments, this movie could have ended up being a lot of fun.

First off, why does Hotel Rwanda need to be set in some god-forsaken, war-torn country? Why not set it in Fort Lauderdale, or Mazatlan or Acapulco or somewhere like that? Secondly--and I think this is even more important--maybe make it so people were not killing people left and right. I think there is much more potential for comedy if it's not set against a backdrop of mass murder.

So, anyway, Don Cheadle is a fine actor, but there's got to be better ways for him to spend the movie, right? Like, maybe a bunch of rowdy college kids show up on spring break, and all kinds of hijinks result. And to get out of a jam, to raise funds to compete with rival hotel, or have to pay the mortgage or something, Don Cheadle sets up a bikini contest in the hotel lobby. And some of those mischievious college kids come along and start screwing things up, like changing the signs to read "wet T shirt" contest, or somethign like that. And all sorts of other goofy shit happens, involving beer, co-eds, and various wardrobe malfunctions.

Anyway, these are some of the improvements I came up with for Hotel Rwanda, using all my vast storytelling skills as a world class writer. Don Cheadle, if you are reading this (and I suspect you are) feel free to incorporate these ideas into a re-release of the movie.

Or possibly even Hotel Rwanda II. Now that would be awesome.



Hannibal Tabu said...

I believe "aghast" would be the only adjective I could use here ...

Then again, after "who let the 'cats out," I suppose nothing should shock me from this guy ...

Benjamin Adams said...
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Goody said...

Imagine how surprised I was to find that this was NOT the sequel to the Robin Williams/Jimmy Cliff comedy classic 'Club Paradise.' Damn you Netflix!