Stephen Colbert's truth... told Layman style!!

WHITE BABY FOR SALE

Carter Zane Layman


Born: 3:19 a.m., 12/20/06
Weight in kilotons: 7.10
Length in cenimeters: 20
Hobbies and interests:
Pyrokinesis, Trigonomtry, Astro-Psychics, Farting

EMERGENCY UPDATE!!!

WANNA SEE A PICTURE OF A CUTE BABY???

Beginnings and ends

I finished writing Scarface last night. The fifth of five issues. It's always hard to say goodbye to a project you care about, especially being done with something and the first issue is not out (It comes out a couple days after Xmas, for those of you wondering.) It's got great art, great coloring. It should be a fantastic book, if the lettering turns out okay.

I've got one more issue of Marvel Zombies/Army of Darkness to write. I've got 2 issues of an unannounced, unscheduled Xena crossover project from Dynamite. And I have four "issues" of these short stories I am co-writing with Tom Peyer for Oni which should be announced literally any day now.

And that's it.

This is the beginning of the end. I am so very old. So very tired.

Oh, woe, the sky is falling.

Toys by Layman!

This is cool. Marvel has released a gift back of House of M related toys, including The It and The Inhuman Torch, from the Layman-written House of M: Fantastic Four spin-off I did. Very cool, seeing toys of characters I sorta created. Or had a hand in reinventing... or whatever. I got a set, too, and the toys are pretty nifty.


Not much else going on, which is kinda getting annoying.

The DOOMSDAY CLOCK

...inches ever closer.

Layman movie Review: KAMIKAZE GIRLS

I. LOVED. THIS. MOVIE!!!



I swear, this may have turned out to be my favorite movie of 2006 (even though it was released in Japan in 2004.) You ever see a movie you just KNOW you are gonna love in the first 20 seconds? Yeah, it was like that. I LOVED this thing from begining to end. Not only that, you know how I usally watch movies at double speed to get through the mediocre shit? Not only did I NOT watch this at double speed, but I "rewound" like a dozen times to watch scenes over a second time. And the whole time I was watching it, I was eager to watch it again... and again!

THIS MOVIE WAS GREAT!!

Sorta like a Japanese "Amelie" but instead of a shy French chick finding love, it's about an insanely cute Japanese outcast girl finding a best friend. She's a self-imposed loner obsessed with dressing in frilly, crazy-ass dresses from the Roccoco period, who slowly makes friends with a scooter-riding "biker gang" chick. Lots of weird, wildly inventive flights of fancy, characters breaking the fourth wall, animated sequences, great use of color, and just general craziness. I'm gonna buy this movie the first chance I get. It totally belongs in the permanent collection.



And not only to I recommend it to everybody, but I'm going to make it REQUIRED viewing for the following people:
Charlie Chu.
James Nadiger.
And Eric DeSantis (though a degenerate Asian-fetish perv like Eric might like it a little TOO much, I fear.)

Any day now...

In case you are wondering.

Layman movie Review: EQUILIBRIUM

On the other hand, I enjoyed this movie probably a lot more than I should have. Basically, it was a complete rip-off of 1984 but with some over-the-top Matrix style gun-fighting. Christian Bale excells as another dour, tightly wounded facist, this one who slowly goes off his meds after seeing his partner Borimir breaks future-society's #1 rule... to have emotions. Anyway, it was kinda dopey, but I'm a sucker for dystopian futures (especially since we live in one!)

Was a hell of a lot better than boring-ass, pretensious-ass Stuperman.


Oh, by the way, I put Equilibrium on my Netflix coz somebody on this blog told me to. Feel free to chime in with other reviews, of shit you've seen that you think I might like.

Layman movie Review: SUPERMAN RETURNS

Jesus God, this movie was so fucking boring I'm not even gonna waste the energy in reviewing it. Every single scene in the movie was literally twice as long as it needed to be.

Every goddamn day...

Reggie just gets cuter and cuter.

November snow in Seattle

Riddle: How is John Layman like Michael Richards?

Answer: We're both dreaming of a White Christmas!!

A NEW LAYMAN TO LOVE!!! Introducing: RUGGELOSCOPY!!

As I said, I haven't had a lot of time to run all these crazy, time-consuming dungeons with Ruggles, so in the meantime, I've been working on another character. This one, an Elf Druid, who can heal, and shape change into various animals. He's not quite as instantly fatal as Ruggles, but as a druid, he can take a lot more damage than a mage.


Anyway, I feel like I've just started him, and he's already to level 39, which means he'll be able to buy a mount very soon. It helps having unlimited access to his wealthly and kind Uncle Ruggles' gold.

Oh, they grow up so fast!


39 and feeling fine!






Why, what did you think I was talking about?

Tomorrow: HEARTWARMING PICTURES OF THE NEWEST LITTLE LAYMAN!!!

In the meantime, here's a treat. A picture of two sweet kitty-cats being watched over by Big Brother Baby Monitor.


Nothing abnormal about keeping your cats under constant surveillance with a baby monitor. Nope!

This photo:
	Awesome and inspirational!
	Creepy and a little bit sad
	Furry and fun!
	Weird and pathetic
	Reggie is the cutest!
Free polls from Pollhost.com

A day of joy! I HAVE SOME GREAT NEWS ABOUT A NEW ADDITION TO THE LAYMAN FAMILY!!!

Wow! The last 24 hours have been CRAZY. Probably not a lot of time to blog right now, but, trust me, I have some BIG NEWS to report, as soon as I have the time. In the meanwhile, please enjoy this selection from Ed Brubaker's Daredevil #91, which went on sale last week.

Clearly, Ed is not just at the top of his game, but he's finally reached his artistic pinnacle.


Daredevil #91


Page #3 Panel 4!!!

Whither art Ruggles, you ax? Getting AWESOME, I answer.

So, not only have I not been blogging lately, but much to everybody's dismay, I have not be blogging about Ysera's most powerful Gnome Mage, the Mighty Ruggles. It's not because I've stopped playing WOW, it's just the I've reached "endgame," where, at level 60, I doing very hard dungeons over and over until the boss drops the right magical item or piece of armor. Anyway, last night, I got the last piece of the first tier of endgame Mage armor, the Magister Set.

Here is Ruggles, in all of his glory in stylish Magister wear. Not only that, but dig his Bloodcaller sword he got from killing Hakkar in ZG... the MOST POWERFUL SWORD IN ALL OF WARCRAFT. Plus, I spent a shitload of gold and got a +30 spell damage enchant to the sword and +20 fire spell damage to my gloves, so I am even MORE kick ass and all-powerful before.

The next step: Do an insanely hard dungeon where I have to rescue some chick in 45 minutes, which is part of a quest to upgrade my armor to the Sorcerer set... which is the next tier.

BEHOLD RUGGLES!!

In full Magister Regalia. And carrying the deadly Bloodcaller!!!



Ruggles at Level 60. Romantically encumbered!

Ruggles at Level 55. Unstoppable.


Ruggles at Level 48. Sergeant!


Ruggles at Level 43. Natty!


Ruggles at Level 32. Deadly!


Ruggles at Level 10. Stylin'!

Tails too terrible to tell

This photo:
	Awesome and inspirational!
	Creepy and a little bit sad
	Furry and fun!
	Weird and pathetic
	Reggie is the cutest!
Free polls from Pollhost.com

RIP Robert Altman

I read in an interview a couple years ago that Robert Altman took a big bong hit every night before bed. I always liked his movies, but ever since I read that he was a sort of hero to me.

This is your chance to shine:

Edit my Wikipedia profile.

Free free to talk about how awesome I am. The world needs to know!

Too cool, or TRUE cool?: the face of Layman 2006

Because nothing says KICK! FUCKING!! ASS!!! like carrying your Prozac-addled kitty around in a front-facing baby-backpack!

Layman movie review: District B13

Man, I really wanted to hate this movie. I spent the first half hour of it actively trying to hate it, but in the end it won me over. I didn't even watch it at double speed, which is, of course, how I judge whether a movie is good or not.

I wanted to hate it because it was made by Luc Besson, who made 5th Element-- a movie which I keep trying to like, but end up hating. Funny, I remember parts of 5th Element very positively, and every couple years I go back and rewatch it, and remember why I hated it all over again. It's starts really well, and has great visuals, and I have great respect for Bruce Willis (who doesn't get near as much credit as he deserves as an actor.) I also have tremendous affection for Milla Jojovich, who I saw open for The The in the early 90s, in her pre-actor, post-model days as a singer, and she was absolutely mesmorizing. I've been a little bit in love with her ever since, and the weird thing is, it's not physical. Milla is pretty much the polar opposite of a "John Layman girl," and, yet, because of that show I saw her at those many years ago, I will always think she is awesome, no matter how many dumb action movies she does now. Anyway... 5th Element sucks. Chris Tucker, who I normal like, just wrecked the movie, and it totally deterorates as soon as he teams up with Bruce. I freaking HATE that dumb movie. And so I really wanted to hate District B13 too.

But it was pretty good. I bet David Baron would love it, 'cause it is not particularly taxing on the intellect. It's sorta Luc Besson remaking Escape from New York as a Hong Kong buddy cop action flick. It stars white, French Vin Diesel and another French guy who looks sorta like Image Comic's Eric Stephenson, if Eric was a tattooed thug instead of a pimp. There a lot of acrobatic chop socky sort of fighting, a few twists regarding the bad guys, a nice set up, and a good "fuck the power" ending.


Anyway, it's the best Netflix I've done in a while. I recommend it, as a cut above, certainly, the typical dumb Hollywood action fare. Of course, I haven't been watching a lot of movies lately, and I'll blog about that some other time, 'cause that definitely deserves it's own post.

For the first time in 6 years: Reasons NOT to hate America...

1. Rumfeld is gone. Dems control the House and Senate.



2. Rufus' smile is as white and dazzling as Carrie Underwood's.



3. Xena #4 went on sale TODAY!

Pray for the kitty!

Poor Old Rufus is in the Kitty Hospital today, getting her teeth cleaned, likely getting a tooth pulled, then getting her teeth bleached so she can look like a Kitty Movie Star.

Let's all take a moment to wish Little Rugie good health!!

LAYMAN CRAVES SLUTS... AND MORE SLUTS!

GUN SLUTS, that is.

The The is one of "my" bands. Like the Cramps and Alice Donut, a band that I just love every freaking thing they've done. And stupid Matt Johnston (The The is basically a one-man band) hasn't released an album since Naked Self in 2000.

Gun Sluts is an album Matt did, that he decided to shelve rather than release, and it is sort of the holy grail for The The fans.

Anyway, I just happened by the The The web site last night and saw that they have a single (instrumental) track off Gun Sluts available for purchase and download. It's nice to get a new The The song, after 7 years, but I wish I could somehow get the entire damn album.

Coming in March: Marvel Zombies vs. Army of Darkness

five issues. written by Layman. Art by Xena's Fabiano Neves.

Awesome covers by Arthur Suydam.

Details here.

And here.

On sale last week: Xena #3!!

With Standard Fabiano Neves cover


With "Negative" cover and No Logo cover


And photo cover and Bastita cover


The Layman Backlist Project has been updated to reflect this towering new literary achievement.

Nobody ever said Reggie was smart

But he sure is fucking cute!!!

FOR THE LADIES!: A 9-page Scarface #1 preview

Newsarama has posted nine pages of pasted-up, lettering up Scarface #1, coming in Dec. from IDW.

By the way, I'm done writing issue #3, and Dave Crosland and colorist Len O'Grady are hard at work on issue #2. And it looks AWESOME. (click for bigger picture.)