Saturday, April 15, 2006

Layman three question mark movie review: CHRONICLES OF NARNIA



I think Chronicles of Narnia is the weirdest movie I have ever seen. Keep in mind, I knew a bit about it going in, so I was prepared to see talking lions and beavers, wicked witches, centaurs and cyclops, and all mannner of crazy fantasy creatures and creations. And I knew this movie had an Christian overtones and it was largely made and marketed as a kid's movie, but nothing --nothing!-- could have prepared me for the sheer surrealness of the first fifteen minutes. I'm pretty sure I just spent the rest of the movie scratching my head and wondering what the hell I just saw.

Narnia begins showing some unnamed city, with really weird, old-fashioned architecture, and it's being bombed by a very obsolete flight of fighter planes. WTF? Then, things get really odd, when we are introduced to the four leads of the movie. Now, I don't want to tell the costume designer how to do his or her job, but most kids, at least teenagers, carry cell phones and ipods. And they wear clothes that says "Tommy Hilfinger," "DKNY," and "Stop Snitching." The four kids in this movie were wearing drab clothes that looked like they went out of style 50 years ago! I just couldn't stop wondering why these kids weren't more "with it."

And I think I probably could have accepted all this, except for the next thing. And I'm sure it was a directorial decision, but I have to say, it utterly boggled my mind: Why on earth did the four lead children speak with British accents? I swear, I was the CRAZIEST thing I have ever seen.

Anyway, not a bad movie, considering it was clearly a low-rent Lord of Rings, defanged and without blood for the kiddies. They didn't hit you over the head with the Christian stuff, either. But I strongly recommend you fast-forward past the bizarre adn quizzical first 15 minutes of the movie. I suspect it would make a lot more sense that way.

2 comments:

Katie K said...

Damn Layman you are the shiznit!!! Haaaaaaa haaaaa haaaa. Must wipe the tears from my eyes. You rock my blog reading world!!! Have much missed the posts!

popculturezod said...

"Talking beavers"? Is that a sexual innuendo?