Finally a John Layman DAY! Oh i'm getting the lights down out of the attic and everything!
The real secret to totally enjoying a truly orthodox John Layman Day is to put the roast in the oven BEFORE you go to bed. That way, you don't have to break any sacred Layman laws. Don't forget to leave an offering of milk and cat food in a bowl, fashioned from a copy of Star Brand #2 and Silly Putty, at the foot of your bed.
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A place when friends come to despair!