Friday, February 25, 2005

HUGE NEWS: LAYMAN CALLS ON POPE TO STEP DOWN, URGES REFORM



Pope John Paul II, if you are reading this (and I know you are!)... John Layman urges you to step down.

Everybody on the face of the planet knows you're about a hiccup away from death. Step down, dude. You've served your purpose. You carrying on as Pope when you are wheezing walking death isn't inspiring, it just makes the Catholic Church look more obstinate and old and obsolete than ever.

Just quit. And if you need an excuse, tell 'em Layman told your rickety ass to.






Oh, here's an odd, true story, since we're sorta on the subject. Do you know I actually met Mother Theresa? Well, maybe not "met," but I stood in the same room with her and looked at her, from about four feet away. It was about 1 a.m., and in a darkened hospital and everything was quiet and I suppose even a little bit spooky (I was kinda freaked out because I knew I'd get in trouble if I was caught in her hospital ICU room.) It was weird, because I was keenly aware that this old, unconscious old woman would likely be made into a saint, and it sure as hell would be the only time on this Earth I'd be anywhere near a saint again. It all made for a very weird energy in the room, a bizarre mix of paranoid and profound, and it's probably the closest thing to a "religious experience" that I ever have had.

I wonder if the people in Ol' Popey's hospital room are going through the same thing.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Have they not tried the Layman tried and tested method of having a PS2 wheeled into the room and the GTA:VC soundtrack played at the patient?

I'm sure that would get the Pope up and about in no time.

Either that or they should get the Hensons to make an animatronic Pope.

Mark