Saturday, April 16, 2005
Layman movie commentary review: NAPOLEON DYNAMITE
Man, this sucks. No, not the movie, but the commentary was the worst, longest, stupidest, most miserable two hours of my entire life.
I think mentioned that we bought an elliptical machine and turned our miniscule downstairs "bedroom" into a little gym, where I run on hour a day on the elliptical--and seem to get fatter and fatter as a result. Anyway, we bought a little TV and DVD and during that hour of excercize I rotate between Buffy DVDs and movie director's commentary. I watched Napoleon Dynamite most recently and, man, did that thing suck-ass.
Keep in mind, I liked the movie. Enough that both my roommate and I wanted to buy it. It's not as great on repeat viewings, but the commentary is just god-awful. It's got the star, and the director, and one other guy, with absolutely nothing to say. "Oh, this is my favorite scene.' "Oh, this is MY favorite scene." "This is my favorite scene." FOR TWO FREAKIN' HOURS. I'm no mathmatician, but it seems that three people cannot have a HUNDRED BILLION favorite scenes. The director also loved to point out his brothers, who seem like they were included in every scene. I swear, I would rather kill myself than watch another nanosecond of this commentary.
It's weird. I feel like the experience was so bad it brought down the entire movie. I'm not even sure I'd be able to watch Napoleon Dynamite again, my reaction to this commentary was so bad. You know, Neal Pozner, in one of his first postings, said Napoleon Dynamite was not "all that" (although he said it in more white-boy vernacular.) Anyway, looks like ol' Neal is getting the last laugh on this one.
Adding insult to injury is the fact I put in Alien next, with commentary by Ridley Scott, Sig Weaver, John Hurt, Harry Dean Stanton, Dan O'Bannon, and probably a few more. Incredible. In the first ten minutes I learned more about Alien than I did from two hours of stupid Napoleon Dynamite.
Here's a question for you. What the best director's commentary you've seen? And, conversely, the worst?
I gotta go. Batty is trying to drink out of a bowl of water that a bunch of dried figs are soaking in. Stoopid cat!
Posted by "crusher" at 10:01 PM