Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Entering 2005... this blog STILL gathers no moss

You'll notice some changes to the links section today, with the threat of more changes to come.

In our continuing effort to provide you with the very best in "internets entertainment," we are are getting rid of the dead weight, commending those few who deserve it, and in our benevolence, giving some undeserving few a second chance.

THE GOOD: First off, big props to SUPERFRANKENSTEIN, FANBOY RAMPAGE , FARK and GELAMOTTI, for being consistently updated and entertaining. You have secured a place in my heart, and on this blog's links section. Your position is secure. TODAY IN IRAQ is not necessarily entertaining, but I urge everybody to follow it to get an idea of the depressing reality of this monstrous war our douchebag president has gotten us into.

THE BAD: I'm dumping the FROM BRICKS TO BOTHANS site from my links. They don't put "leaked" information about Lego sets on their site, and unless Lego Corp signs off, the aren't allowed to talk about new sets. I think THIS web site has proved to be a better web site when it comes to providing coverage, so I'm dumping your sorry ass.
You get the ax!!

THE UGLY: SAVAGE CRITIC , INFORMATION OVERLOAD and LOGIC AND NAUSEA are all hereby warned; get your shit together. You are not updating enough, and dangerously close to be axed from this web site. All of you are sadly underperforming when it comes to updating and entertaining me. SAVAGE CRITIC isn't doing nearly enough savaging, and have just been posting stupid lists lately.

Start critisizing, SAVAGE CRITIC ... Or risk the ax!

LOGIC AND NAUSEA, run by my arch-enemy Brian Perez, is filled with putrid prose. Update more, and make the shit rhyme, dude... Or risk the ax!

INFORMATION OVERLOAD is going on warning as well. As some of you may know, this blog is operated by my obnoxious "roommate," who I just happened to also be married to. Some background information: My sweet kitty cat Bumble Buzz LOVES to chew on ribbon, so during the Christmas season I had to be extra vigilant making sure no presents had ribbon. A horrible thing happened last year, beyond the fact that Bumble Buzz nearly chokes every time she goes for ribbon. (SPOILER WARNINGS APPLY:) She actually swallowed a bunch of ribbon, and some time later she had ribbon hanging out of her butt. It got cat shit all over my carpet, but the worst part of it was when I had to PULL the crap-covered ribbon out of Bumble Buzz's butt, which obviously hurt like hell for this poor sweet kitty. It bled a lot too, and was one of the grossest thing I have ever seen.

INFORMATION OVERLOAD: stop leaving Christmas ribbon on the ground from Bumble Buzz to choke on or get stuck in her butt... Or risk the ax!

6 comments:

Darth_Tanyan said...

You know, Crusher, some poems do not rhyme. In fact, most publishers will not accept rhyming poetry unless it is very, very good. So the emphasis has to be on meter and rhythm and content rather than rhyme. However, I do compose some rhymes so I will post them as soon as I can. I will not get the Layman Adze I promise you. Er, I mean....Axe. Sorry.

Tom said...

I am humbled. And I mean humbled in the sense of "elevated from the herd," the way our most important celebrities use the word. I could not have earned this honor without God in my life. Thank you God, and thank you Layman.

Ann Thrope said...

Anybody who writes "big props" in their blog should get the ax....

Chris Hunter said...

Layman, get your crap together and fix this freaking blog before I give IT the AX!

What the hell is up with the html? The posts show up at the bottom of the freaking page. Fix it!

-Chris Hunter

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