Friday, December 31, 2004

Layman movie review: THE INTERMINABLE



Actually, it's called, THE TERMINAL, and I have no freakin' idea how it ended up on our Netflix (I secretly suspect my wife is a big cheeseball.) Anyway, it's Steven Speilberg's latest slice of syrup, starring Tom Hanks as a goofy-ass foreigner stuck in an airport--kinda like anyone who saw it got stuck in the theater.

Listen, the sad fact is, at 37 years of age, I am pushing 40, and I am middle aged. So, I'm wondering, who the HELL is this movie marketed toward. Not me, surely, and not anybody any younger. Maybe really old folks (see forthcoming review of SECONDHAND LIONS, which has officially spawned a new genre of non-sexual "geriatric porn.") The Terminal just sorta ambled along, with everything obvious from a mile away. Nothing extremily challenging for the viewer, everything cute and painfully pleasant. There is absolutely no chemistry between Katherine Zeto Jones and Tom Hanks, and the idea that a flight attendant who looks anything like that would even give a goofy-ass foreigner like Tom Hanks the time of day is ludicrous. (She reads books on Napoleon in her spare time, which is even more ridiculous.)

Anyway, this movie is pure fluff, and it's actually so bad Kim and I could not stop watching it, groaning and bitching.

One other thing. It was PG-13, though there was ANYthing we could remotely see to merit that. Stanley Tucci yells "Goddamit" at the end, but there was no other cussing I could recall. Or nudity or drug use or anything else. Could it be movies are now being rated in consideration of how fucking BORING they are, with the realization that nobody under 13 could see this movie without being bored out of their ever-lovin' mind?

So... my recommendation; RENT IT, only if you enjoy grousing at your TV screen (which I do)

1 comment:

Tom said...

Oh, yeah, that's a bad one. We actually saw it in the theater. I was hospitalized for two weeks over that one.