Sunday, January 16, 2005
Layman movie review: EPISODE III RETURN OF THE SITH
Ug. I just knew it. I attended an exclusive preview screening of the upcoming Star Warts prequel and it was every bit as half-assed and idoticallly knuckle-headed as I thought it would be.
In honor of this movie, I'm going to start a new feature in this blog, titled:
Layman expose: REASONS WHY GEORGE LUC-ASS IS A BIG FAT IDIOT, Part One (of Infinity)
Ok, so... at the end of the Return of the Sith, Natalie Portman's character, Paddle-Me Armadillo, dies in childbirth, while giving birth to Luke and Leiar. Hello? Your frickin' galaxy has swords made of lasers, machines that resist gravity, and giant ships big enough to destroy planets. And yet, you can't master childbirth. How idiotically convinient for Episode III's lamebrained story purposes.
Plus, it's not like the character's death-during-childbirth comes as a surprise. Manakin has dreams about it the entire damn movie, and yet nobody takes any precautions. Ug. Double Ug. Anyway, another stupid Star Warts movie down the tubes. At least the misery is over.
And I'm not even gonna get started on the Threepio stuff.
Posted by "crusher" at 1:53 AM